flurry_of_beaus | (no subject)

OMG BUT YOU'RE IN THE SAME ROOM THAT'S JUST TORTURING YOURSELVES????

try a date? again? like...

ps has he apologized for charming you?

yeah he apologised
he was going to BURN OFF THE TATTOO fucking hell i almost freaked out right there when he told me
i feel terrible
we fell asleep and it was weird
WEIRD like SMALLTALK weird

GDI WTF

[ There's drama queens and then there's Mollymauk Tealeaf. ]

fell asleep while small talking or fell asleep and then there was small talk?

have you even settled on where you all ARE with the tattoo?

this are so many questions and so little advice, I know.

thanks for letting me vent tbh

we made smalltalk then slept
he also agreed if i had told him i had a maybe-crush on jester before coming here he wouldn't have gotten her tat on his hand because it's super awkward for both of us
only NOTHING IS GETING RESOLVED because ???? i have to be the bigger man and be fine with it
but i'm still comfortable
and it's wrong to ask him to get rid of it
SO YOU SEE THE PREDICAMENT

I DO

but just... shit.

maybe i was right just now. do date. do try to take it slow. like restart the relationship. the RELATIONSHIP not the fucking.

you'll get to where you were in time and maybe it'll even be better because you'll use you mouths for other shit.

that's the entire problem, i don't want to be putting my mouth on a reminder of jester and struggling to remember i'm with molly

i'm scared i'll fuck up and that will actually happen and then it'll REALLY be over because i'll be some accidentally emotionally cheating fuck with my stupid simple brain connecting a fucking lollipop to someone

hey hey fjord.
you don't have a stupid simple brain. you've got one of the best brains among us okay.
you've just got a big heart and jester's easy to fall for.

but if you want to get over this, if you want to be with molly, you will.
you'll get there. it'll just take time.

you're not gonna fuck this up.

feels like having all my old thoughts about her shoved in my face when i see that thing

and? you just said they're old. why are they bugging you now? just because you can see them?

do you care about jester more than molly? if she showed up would you dump molly?

no! he asked me the same thing
i told him
i told him i loved him, this is new and frightening but i meant it

how would you feel if someone you liked had a tattoo of the star razor on their hand? that would be weird too!!
ALWAYS SEEING ME ON THEIR BODY

honestly?

i'd think I was lucky to have someone love my family as much as they loved me.

I wouldn't go KISSING It and shit or staring at it during anything but

i mean yeah, there's stuff about me on there too and you're not freaking out over it.

maybe that's the wrong analogy you're going for.

[ She braces herself a little because that's probably definitely not the answer that Fjord wants. ]

how would you AVOID looking at it during
that's even weirder
here's my FJORD HAND ON YOU don't LOOK AT IT

look i
i miss jester a lot and i didn't figure things out back home or get anything settled before i came here
three months in and i'm someone's boyfriend
i don't think it's strange for me to want to focus on one person while i'm doing my best

shut your eyes? look him in the eyes? wear a glove?

I'm not saying you're strange or that you're not doing your best, fjord. you aren't and you are.
and that's why i'm saying start over. maybe switch rooms. if you need time and space to figure things out, then take it. because if you care about molly, you gotta take care of that shit. you can't love someone right if you're not taking care of your stuff.

I know you want to do right by him. You're too good of a guy not to. and it's OKAY to have feelings for Jester. ~~everybody does.~~ but if you gotta settle them like you say, you gotta do that first

i think.

i don't know how to do that and it's making things weird
back to square one

gloves it is.

i hear latex is a thing. whatever it is.

no, he already thought about burning himself, i don't want him to feel like he has to be as crazy about this as me
i'll just take some time, like you said
feels like my heart got one foot stuck in the mud of my past and now that picture on his body won't let it go

sorry, i'm going in circles with this because i'm stressed

i get it man. and you'll get there. seriously it's just time and i know that's a shitty answer because you're here now looking for something to make it better but that's all there is. time and effort.
that's both of you, not me saying you're not putting in effort.

or that he isn't

bah you know what i mean.

you're a lot wiser than you look, you know
;)

It's all the tattoo man. ;)