+1 fun

[flurry_of_beaus]

INBOX text / audio / video / action I feel bad. I've treated people like shit my whole life. And . . . I don't know. Having one transformative moment doesn't mean that you're immediately going to be a different person overnight and being better is something you have to work at, I guess. art credit code credit

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[flurry_of_beaus]

[ She beats on the door with her fists, then kicks it, which does hurt her toes a little but she doesn't care. Let the pain come. There's a flurry of blows as she expends a fiery piece of energy in thirsty seconds of rage, then she pushes back from the door.

Her eyes are glassy and wet, but she refuses to look at Jester. Who will only make it worse. ]

He can't be gone. [ Her voice is quiet as a whisper. ]

[disasterartist]

[Jester watches all of that, pulling her knees up to her chest. But after Beau speaks up again, at how quiet she is...

Part of Jester feels like she shouldn't be touching Beau at all. There's another bigger part of her that hears that whisper and hurts and she can't even help it, she's getting to her feet and getting closer and wrapping her arms around Beau from behind. (She kind of thinks there's half a chance Beau might push her away or try and hurt her but that doesn't really matter.) She wants to rest her cheek against Beau's back but at least she doesn't do that.]

We can keep looking. Go ask someone.

[...No, her voice is definitely trembling now but it's also obvious she's trying so hard to be strong.]

[flurry_of_beaus]

[ Beau doesn't pull away. She doesn't pull Jester any closer, either, but rests her hand tiredly atop the tiefling's. Her eyes are fixed on the door, but she's not really seeing it at all. She's just seeing the empty space. ]

No. [ Her voice cracks a little, but she recovers. ]

They're gone. That's it. They're just gone.

[disasterartist]

I'm sorry, Beau.

[Jester knows they are, really. This happened with Molly and Fjord, it happened with Imoen and Juniper. It just happened to Neria. It just happened to Noah. It keeps happening to her and to people she cares about. It sucks.]

I'm sorry it was him ["Him". Caleb. She means Caleb.] and not--

[Her. Because she and Beau aren't really talking and she messed things up and they're still friends - they're still friends.... - but probably it would be better if Caleb were still here and she wasn't.

Her voice is small now, as well as shakey. She doesn't want to finish her sentence but she hopes Beau....gets what she means.]

[flurry_of_beaus]

[ It takes her a second. It takes her a long second to parse that inflection in Jester's words. She picks up on the fact that there's a secondary meaning immediately. But the idea that Jester would ever think that Caleb's more important to Beau than Jester (that any member of the Nein is more important to her than another), is a terrible, no good thing. It makes her withdraw, flinch back with a wounded look on her features that she cannot control. ]

Jester...

[ Has she done this? Made her friend doubt her? Of course. Of course she has. Because Beau hasn't been a good friend to Jester, ghosting on her and keeping her distance.

This is all Beau's fault. ]

No. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Jester, and you've got nothing to apologize for.